31 Aug Don’t Say Meow to People

This was our bedtime story tonight.

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Once upon a time there was a little boy named Henry and his little brother’s name was Danny and his little sister’s name was Ellie and they liked to play up and down Morgan Avenue. One late summer day, they were playing outside and something happened.

“Meow,” said someone, right in Henry’s ear. It was Chloe.

“Meow,” said Henry back.

“How rude! Hmph!” said Chloe.

“What, a talking cat!?” said Henry.

“How dare you say that to me!” said Chloe.

“Say what?” said Henry.

“Meow!” said Chloe.

“Why not?” asked Henry.

“Because it means ‘YOU HAVE AN UGLY FACE!'” said Chloe.

“Well, I didn’t know that!” said Henry.

“Now you do.”

Later that day, Annie the cat walked up to Mommy and said, “Meow!” and Henry and Danny and Ellie laughed. Mommy asked them why they were laughing and they told her.

“You’re a very rude cat!” said Mommy.

Then at school, a kid was picking on Henry and they said his shoes were the wrong color and Henry said, “Meow!”

And the kid said, “What the heck? Why did you say Meow to me? That is so weird.”

But Henry knew and he thought to himself, “HA!” And he told Danny and Ellie and they all laughed and laughed.

Then at daycare, a kid was picking on Danny and said he couldn’t play with them. But Danny said, “Meow!”

And the kid said, “I don’t get it. Did you just Meow at me?!”

And Danny went home and told Henry and Ellie and they all laughed and laughed.

And another baby came up to Ellie and pinched her, and Ellie said, “MEOW!” and the baby said, “HUH?” And Ellie told Danny and Henry and they laughed and laughed.

And then Evie came up to them and her T-shirt had a picture of a cat on it with a speech bubble that said MEOW and Henry and Danny and Ellie said, “Evie, you may not know this, but that is a very rude T-shirt.”

And one time Henry and Danny and Ellie were fighting and Mom just heard them up in their room saying, “Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!” and Mommy went up and said, Listen to yourselves! That is so silly! You sound like a bunch of cats.”

And one time Jones came up to Daddy and said “Meow!” and Henry said, “Jonesy, that’s not nice.”

So if anybody is mean to you, you can just say MEOW and then you can go home and tell the people you love and have a good laugh about it.

And also, now you know what cats are really saying. Cats are rude.

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